Reply to a reader's letter to article.

Good afternoon, Vladimir!
I would like to express my disagreement with the conclusions and the very formulation of the question in the article https://ra1ahq.blog/khobbi-polza-ili-vred

I am glad that the article did not leave you indifferent!

We live a long life

You can bet. Not all. Life expectancy is a probabilistic value. Because there is a stochastic effect.

Explanation under spoiler.

and during this time we have time to SAY a lot and THINK a lot.

We must strive for this.

We speak both words of support and rude words too. And what we think, all the thoughts run through there, from “I would kill” to “I can’t live without you” and “how undeservedly lucky I am”

Why do we say rude words - is it not because of different interests? Or even conflict?
A hobby that is incompatible with his wife - it could be “a motorcycle in the apartment,” or the music is not to the listener’s taste, or the hiss of the receiver. Please note that women have harmless or useful hobbies - growing indoor plants, growing flowers, knitting, cooking, which cannot cause conflict by definition.Useless hobbies - they provoke irritation in our wives. For example, antennas on the balcony of an apartment building - they really get in the way! I really regret that pride closed my eyes and didn’t take them off earlier.

, and these thoughts are in such quantity that we then use what is convenient for us - “I knew in advance!”, although we only thought about all available options for the development of events (article Knowledge_in hindsight about one of these cognitive distortions).

Any statement can be summed up "cognitive distortion", there are more than 30 of them. This is a rhetorical technique called distortion.

Jerking- deliberate, distorted and false transmission of someone else’s thoughts in one’s own favor. This is a secret desire to distort the meaning of information, take it out of context and give it a different meaning that is beneficial to the one who carries out the distortion. There are many forms of distortion: exaggeration, belittlement, construction, falsification, telling half-truths.

I believe that the Author of the article, unintentionally, in an attempt to explain to himself the course of life and figure out how to manage it, introduces himself into a similar cognitive distortion.

Formal approach- provides for the extraction from the studied processes and phenomena of only stable, relatively unchangeable moments, which are considered as if in a “pure” form, without connection with the entire process, phenomenon as a whole.

In the 1970s in the United States, a section of sociology was created -sociology of leisure brought "surprisingly few useful conclusions." Mainly, leisure depends on the profession, type of activity, because Salaries for different specialties differ significantly.

My article was about the fact that leisure should be in harmony with the family (family leisure) and not worsen health.

Judging by Wikipedia, in the Russian Federation, leisure research has been reduced to an analysis of recreational uses of various social groups, depending on income level.

I am glad that thanks to the spiritual heritage of Orthodoxy and Christianity, more and more people are realizing the need to visit churches. In these turbulent times, only religion provides a broad ethical answer and peace of mind for every person. In the formal sociological approach there is no ethics, there is no soul, and therefore the conclusions are weak.

The author brings thousands of random events in his life and the life of another person, as well as events mutually influencing both, under a “simple” explanation in the form of a topic that is understandable to him and completely rational.

In the last article I gave my rational answer regarding the organization of leisure time in the family. I don’t impose my opinion.

But I think it’s important to remind you that the topic of life and death, and, moreover, forecasting both processes, is not so simple and clear, and is often associated with random events that are not within the zone of our control or even simple observation (again, I’ll refer to an authoritative source Wikipedia - God_complex).

If you are not a believer, you will not be able to understand that we are in power God. I just wrote in the text the thought that I understood at the moment of inspiration. What is secondary should be called secondary, and that’s the only way. For example, all politics, which shines brightly, makes noise, but does not warm, falls into the “tinsel.”

Also, the article divides hobbies into harmful and useful.

Books or audiobooks, good radio stations enrich the inner world and allow you to solve problems:
"Radio Star" - 94.1 MHz in St. Petersburg.
"Radio Maria" - before 1053 kHz, the last month has not been heard.
"Radio Vera" - 92.9 MHz in St. Petersburg.
"Family radio" (Estonia, in Russian)
*"City of Petrov" 73.1 MHz daily 08-24.

• "Radio
  Radonezh 684 kHz in St. Petersburg (not heard every day), 72.92 MHz in Moscow.

The above is in no way a criticism of the behavior of the Author or his thought process, but serves only the purpose of reminding about Humility and Forgiveness of oneself, first of all, in acts committed or not committed.

Thank you for your letter. I would like to note that according to Christianity, forgiveness should be done by God, and not by man himself. In psychology - I think it's called gestalt, but this watered-down theory is not close to anyone who grew up in an Orthodox culture. Forgiving yourself is only through repentance and working to change your behavior.

To understand the context, I note that the author of these lines is not a religious believer

This is just your subjective opinion.

and means humanitarian tools of knowing the world through knowing oneself (including so-called religious teachings), they are just as effective as technical tools, but in their own areas of application.

The laws of ethics are universal. You need to respect other people and not create problems for them. Self-analysis, by the way, is needed more for religion, but etiquette is used in secular life.

Returning to the material world - Hobby. Hobby has nothing to do with it, it has completely different functions, it is our instrument of self-expression, it is a strong and significant part of our life.

Nobody argues with the fact that creativity and self-expression through craftsmanship and art have a positive impact on our lives.

I wanted to convey the idea as in “Hopscotch” by Julio Cortazar: “If I take one book off the shelf and read it, I won’t read another.”. Is outdoor activity the same as reading or setting up a PC? Obviously not.

And, usually (typically, most often), we are alone in it, because... one partner, for example, likes to knit/draw, and the other likes to solder/set up a computer (the real hobbies of the author of these lines are described). None of us would like to deprive our partner of his hobby; at the level of empathy this is not acceptable, because... they may deprive us of ourselves.

The idyll described to you takes place in most families. We just don’t think about why your partner started knitting - maybe you started reading the news on your smartphone, and didn’t invite him outside for a walk in the park or a swim in the pool?

The above is aimed at preventing the Author of the article from stopping in the process of learning about himself and the world around him (which I consider to be identical concepts).

The surrounding material world and the inner spiritual world are not identical. The world is reflected through reflection, but is not identical to consciousness.
Most often, the outside world is hostile or poses challenges: "The whole world is coming at me..." (Viktor Tsoi).
It seems that only religion has given an adequate answer: the world cannot be remade, it has been and is like this since time immemorial: “And 2000 years...”. Faith, hope and love can only save a specific person and, perhaps, his immediate circle.

Encourage you to move at the highest possible speed of learning, to absorb knowledge about yourself/the world around you. To be a support to the same seekers of knowledge, like himself, who walk next to him on the path of life. And feel the unconditional support provided to him. Create and create.

Thank you for your wishes and words of support!

On my own behalf, I wish the Author to complete/pass/survive/withstand/win/accept the test that befell him. How our ancestors DID and our followers will DO.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Best regards, K*****.

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